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Friday, September 26, 2003
Today was kinda crummy. I think someone is mad at me... but I don't know for sure, so I don't want to say their name in case I'm wrong. Anyways... I got up, went to school around 10, sat around with Matt, Monica & Laura until 11, went to Algebra & took a test, sat around with Matt, Monica, Laura and Dan until 1, went to Theory, went to Adrienne's, went & put gas in Adrienne's car, picked up Nichole, went to the shed, deposited large amounts of costumes, took Nichole home, went back to Adrienne's, hung out with Cameron for awhile and then went home. I will probably be going to Perkins with Nichole and Andy later... we shall see.
Beyond Reasoning
Somewhere in the vastness of our great universe,
On a tiny little planet where none traverse,
Am I. Embedded in the fleetingness of life
Still pondering about where and when I'll arrive.
I keep trying, off alone, devoid of all sound,
To recognize a god's face, and to see around
The stereotypes of each church and each people,
To see if there's more than just a manmade steeple.
It seems to me that all religion is to man
Is a fight to say, "You can't? Well, look here, I can!"
But who will decide who wins when the fight is done?
The people with Many? Or the people with One?
I continue to fail in my frequent attempts
To decide in which god I can be confident.
At first, one seems correct, but then it's some other.
Should I pray to Father? No, this week: to Mother.
In my confusion, sadness starts to surround me,
Captures my waning strength, able to confound me.
The disappearance of hope, that's kept me alive,
Lets sadness questions my will and means to survive.
So, what's the difference between wrong and apropos?
And why's the line 'tween life and death getting narrow?
I don't think I can explain what's happy or sad,
And I don't know how to tell the good from the bad.
Emptiness replaces my continuous tears
And then I am filled with a thousand nameless fears.
My life appears to have lost any destination,
And faith in anything's a hopeless temptation.
But I long for something, like a desert wants rain
I long for something true, to fix the hope that's slain.
There's something out there somewhere, meant only for me.
There's something out there somewhere, someday I will see.
By me... (inspired by an original poem by Andreas Eschenbacher)
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This week in my world:
Monday
9a-10a Tutor
10a-1p Homework
1p-3p Scene Study
3p-5p Scenework
5p-7p Dinner
7p-10p Rehearsal
10p-12a Homework
Tuesday
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