Monday, October 06, 2003
monday monday

today is monday
mondays suck so i have decided to ignore all grammatical rules simply because i do not like mondays

today mommy left for guam for the week on a business trip
i went to school and went to classes and ate lunch with laura adrienne nichole and matt and then went to more class
then i went to my car after hearing more about lauras love life
then i drove to seton catholic middle school and picked up market day
then i went to the bank
after that i drove all the way back to the harts to drop off the shed key
from there i went to shopko to get an application
i filled it out while waiting to pick up lara
then we went back to shopko where i dropped off the application and bought a sweater that i wanted
we grabbed dinner at wendys and then went home
there i played on the computer for a loooooong time and role-played and such
around 545 i took lara to girl choir
then i came back home and played on the computer somemore
at 745 i left to pick lara up
we came home and i played on the computer again
soon i will be going to perkins i think with nichole and tommy if nichole calls
then i will come home and sleep

tomorrow is tuesday
i like tuesdays

Posted at 10:09 pm by Manda
It's about one moment.  

Sunday, October 05, 2003
Mrrnrrfrrsha...

That about sums up the past however-many days it's been since I posted.

Thursday, Oct 2 - Started with Cameron and I arguing in the West College Ave. Perkins parking lot (talk about "Happy Anniversary"... riiight).  Then I went home and slept.  I was awakened at 7:30 a.m. to drive my dad to the airport to pick up the rental car.  After we got back, I finished packing and getting together all my stuff.  I think my dad and I left around 9, maybe 9:30.  Mom and Lara drove down separately.  Anyways, so we drove down to Chicago and went to my grandmother's where I changed for the wake and then we all went to the funeral home where Lara and I pretty much sat and did homework from 2:30 to 9 p.m.  After the wake, the four of us went to my godparents' house where we had yummy Chicago pizza.  Then we went back to the hotel and slept.

Friday, Oct 3 - I woke up around 8 and took a shower in a shower meant for people Monica or Nichole's size (hehe).  The showerhead was at about the same height as my mouth.  Anyways, so I showered and got up and got dressed.  Then we grabbed breakfast and went to pick up Grandma and Uncle Bud (her brother) and headed over to the funeral home.  The pastor did his sermon (When I die, if my funeral service is anything resembling the sermon he read, I will come back just to kick his ass... he didn't do a particularily good, in my not-so-humble opinion.) and then my dad and I hightailed it over to the cemetary and waited 30-45 minutes til the funeral procession got there.  It was pouring.  But we did the little graveside dealy and then we all headed over to some banquet hall for the funeral lunch - the first banquet hall I've ever had edible food in.  Afterwards, around 1, we took Grandma and Bud back to the house and Mom and I headed home.  Actually, first we stopped at the Polish deli to get sausages and other yummys (yummies?), then we hit the road.  After spending about 2 hours in rush hour traffic (wait a minute...), we finally actually got going.  We got to Oshkosh at about 7 and did Oliver.  After the show, we went to Menasha Perkins - the most interesting Perkins episode I've ever had.  ("Why is that white man wearing bling-bling?"  "Are you a drummer?"  "That's it, get out of here, traitor!")  Then I went home and slept.

Saturday, Oct 4 - Got up WAY too early to do Theatrix auditions.  Stopped at Wendy's for food.  Went to the Grand.  Did the afternoon show (actually... I let Chelsey do the afternoon show).  Ate lunch.  Tried to sleep.  Was awakened by irritating little children going "Wake up! Wake up!"  Did the evening show.  Went home.  Slept.  :)

Sunday, Oct 5 - Well, so far I have... gotten up, showered... that's about it.  I'm gonna go grab some food now. 

Byeeee!

Posted at 11:30 am by Manda
It's about one moment.  

Wednesday, October 01, 2003
So...

I'm going to be gone for the next two days in Chicago at the wake & funeral of my aunt... so people should call my cel phone & leave me messages to cheer me up... or at least send me text messages cause that would make me smile a lot.  And I will need help smiling.  So... please send me voice mails & text messages.

Thanks guys!  Lots of love...

Manda

Posted at 2:57 pm by Manda
It's about one moment.  

"This Life Has Been A Test"

I think I failed it...

So tell me...
How do you balance a wake Thursday & a funeral Friday which are 3 hours away from the places you need to be 9 a.m. - 2 p.m. and 6:30 - 10:30 p.m. both those days?

Let me tell you - you don't!

Yay I got the answer right.  But that does not solve my dilemma.

If I created the world, people would die on a schedule so that you could plan ahead to organize around it. 
Can't you just see it?
"Sorry, we can't have the show that weekend, my uncle-in-law has that Friday reserved to die on." 
"Damn, I won't be able to make the game next week - my second cousin three times removed is scheduled to pass on to a better place that night."

No, I'm just kidding... I'm just sort of bitter.

Is it wrong of me to feel slightly indifferent about this matter?  I'm more concerned about the classes I'm missing & the show falling apart than I am about having to go to a funeral.  And that makes me feel like shit.  I dunno, maybe I'm just screwed up.

This life has been a test.
I think I failed it.
The cheat sheet that he promised -
It never made it.
It's not fill-in-the-blank
Or multiple guess.
Must be an essay,
And my spelling's always a mess.

--to be continued--

Posted at 12:29 am by Manda
It's about one moment.  

Monday, September 29, 2003
Why bother?

what is the point of living when in the end you die anyway?
what is the point of loving when it all ends eventually anyway?
what is the point of caring when all you get for it is pain anyway?
what is the point?

i just don't understand why i should even bother.

does "i need you" mean nothing anymore?
obviously it's about as important as "i love you"
which means it has about as much sway as you would get blowing air at a 100 year old oak tree.
zero
zilch
zip

nothing
matters
anymore

no one cares anyway

fuck it all

Posted at 3:54 pm by Manda
It's about one moment.  

Sunday, September 28, 2003
I AM NOT A SLACKER!

I only missed yesterday... but that's because nothing of great interest happened.

I got up at the crack of dawn, went to rehearsal, came home with Cameron, hung out with him til midnight, went to bed.  Wooo, that's exciting!

Today was just as dull...

I got up at 10, went shooting with Dad, Lara & Cameron, went to rehearsal, went to Cameron's and lost at chess to him (AGAIN!), went to the Burial Chamber dress rehearsal and came home and will soon be going to bed.

Rah!

Tomorrow may provide something slightly more interesting (aka.. dress rehearsal), but aside from that... bleah.

Gnyte!

Posted at 9:49 pm by Manda
It's about one moment.  

Friday, September 26, 2003
Beyond Reasoning

Today was kinda crummy.  I think someone is mad at me... but I don't know for sure, so I don't want to say their name in case I'm wrong.  Anyways... I got up, went to school around 10, sat around with Matt, Monica & Laura until 11, went to Algebra & took a test, sat around with Matt, Monica, Laura and Dan until 1, went to Theory, went to Adrienne's, went & put gas in Adrienne's car, picked up Nichole, went to the shed, deposited large amounts of costumes, took Nichole home, went back to Adrienne's, hung out with Cameron for awhile and then went home.  I will probably be going to Perkins with Nichole and Andy later... we shall see.

Beyond Reasoning
Somewhere in the vastness of our great universe,
On a tiny little planet where none traverse,
Am I. Embedded in the fleetingness of life
Still pondering about where and when I'll arrive.

I keep trying, off alone, devoid of all sound,
To recognize a god's face, and to see around
The stereotypes of each church and each people,
To see if there's more than just a manmade steeple.

It seems to me that all religion is to man
Is a fight to say, "You can't?  Well, look here, I can!"
But who will decide who wins when the fight is done?
The people with Many?  Or the people with One?

I continue to fail in my frequent attempts
To decide in which god I can be confident.
At first, one seems correct, but then it's some other.
Should I pray to Father? No, this week: to Mother.

In my confusion, sadness starts to surround me,
Captures my waning strength, able to confound me.
The disappearance of hope, that's kept me alive,
Lets sadness questions my will and means to survive.

So, what's the difference between wrong and apropos?
And why's the line 'tween life and death getting narrow?
I don't think I can explain what's happy or sad,
And I don't know how to tell the good from the bad.

Emptiness replaces my continuous tears
And then I am filled with a thousand nameless fears.
My life appears to have lost any destination,
And faith in anything's a hopeless temptation.

But I long for something, like a desert wants rain
I long for something true, to fix the hope that's slain.
There's something out there somewhere, meant only for me.
There's something out there somewhere, someday I will see.

By me... (inspired by an original poem by Andreas Eschenbacher)

Wednesday, September 24, 2003
The Outer Limits

"There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We can roll the image, make it flutter. We can change the focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next hour sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat: there is nothing wrong with your television set. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to... The Outer Limits."

Sometimes... sometimes I feel like I live in the Outer Limits.  And sometimes I think that some random creepy voice at the beginning of each episode is affecting my outlook and my picture of the things around me.

The people around me confuse me greatly.  And I wonder if I will ever really understand my friends.  Or... if they will understand me? 

I'm not depressed.  I'm just pensive... "Damn, I was going for thoughtful."

I don't know anymore.

"The planet Earth is a speck of dust, remote and alone in the void. There are powers in the universe inscrutable and profound. Fear cannot save us. Rage cannot help us. We must see the stranger in a new light-the light of understanding. And to achieve this, we must begin to understand ourselves, and each other. We now return control of your television set to you, until next week, at the same time when the Control Voice will take you to... The Outer Limits."

Posted at 4:42 pm by Manda
It's about one moment.  

Next Page


This week in my world:
Monday

9a-10a Tutor
10a-1p Homework
1p-3p Scene Study
3p-5p Scenework
5p-7p Dinner
7p-10p Rehearsal
10p-12a Homework

Tuesday

   

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